I think too often we underestimate love. We don't honor it the way we should. We have knee jerk reactions like, "I'm not ready," without even thinking about it. I don't think we are ever ready to grow. Shit happens and all of a sudden we are faced with a decision. A decision to grow or a decision to fall back. Relationships are exactly this way. Relationships push us to grow.
I use to think the best teacher to teach me love would be myself. But ya know what? The first person to teach me about a healthy love was not myself. It was my therapist and I am so thankful for her. How could I have taught myself when I didn't even know what it was, what it looked like, or how it was suppose to feel?
Real love requires work. It requires pain to work through all of our bullshit. Real love requires attention towards all the shit that we have been on auto drive, pushing away all our lives.
It hurts my heart when I hear people speak so negatively about relationships, love, and marriage. Marriage especially because so many have ended in divorce. People look to those and think they can't work. People believe the only thing that can be gained from marriage is a very expensive divorce.
Let me tell you how a typical relationship goes. Two people meet and they fall for how the other person makes them feel. They are not falling for the other person. Did you hear that? Let that piece of gold sink in for a bit. -------------------
When the other person can't make them feel the same way anymore, that's when things start to sour. But here's the kicker, the person never made you feel anything. Your perception of her or him made you feel how you felt. You were filling a void with that person and now that it's not being filled the same way, you look for something else. It could be the gym, work, an affair, a baby, the list goes on. You will continue to search for vices until you decide to deal with your shit. And you will always feel that emptiness if you don't. That hole directly leads you home but you have to jump into it. I promise you there is light on the other end.
And on a side note, you only get from love what you put into it just like everything else in life. You wouldn't recommend someone to half ass their career would you? Then why would you expect to half ass a relationship and then bitch about how it didn't work. Then there's those who give all of themselves to someone who isn't able to reciprocate. Both of them have one thing in common...a lack of self love.
Self love is the key ingredient in loving others. I feel it's really the only ingredient. You want to love yourself so much that your love pours onto others. And you also want to continue to discover new ways to fall in love with yourself, just like you have to find new ways to fall in love in your relationships. If your focus is always on you, making sure you are the best version of you, you will automatically want the best for those around you. It's when our energies are low that we can't love others in the ways we had hoped that we could. So it is our responsibility for loving ourselves. It is our responsibility to face our demons. And it is our responsibility for our happiness.
The beauty of love is growth. A growth that leads to our realization of our true power. And our true power is our light. Our light creates every moment, it draws anything we want to us, it overcomes, it lifts others, it heals, it forgives, it changes the world.
Love really is the only thing that matters. Love yourself fully and find a million new ways to fall in love with yourself. And when you love yourself you'll know that you deserve real, healthy love. When the opportunity comes, you'll be able to embrace it instead of running. And if you run...isn't it really you who you are running from?
Send you all, all the love, light, and healing energy in the universe!