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Therapy and why you need it...

Michelle Dorothea TuckerComment

I got introduced to therapy by a teacher that was very much a father figure to me. It was while I was taking acting classes. He told me he had a therapist for over ten years and he said that all actors really need to know who they are, what makes them tick, and why they make the choices they do. He referred me to the office of which his therapist owned so that I could get someone under her.

I went to a few sessions and I couldn't feel a connection with her. I tell people when you are looking for a therapist, it's like looking at an apartment; you know within the first few minutes whether or not you want to live there. If you have to try to force a connection it won't work and you'll walk away thinking therapy doesn't work. If you don't feel something with your therapist then keep trying new ones till you do.

A year or two passed and I tried therapy again because i was in a relationship and he said I should go. It's amazing to look back and see how all of these paths were given to me to get me to where I am now.

Thus my journey of enlightenment began. Her name was Patricia. She was beautiful, warm, and very kind. I felt immediately drawn to her energy. She lifted me in the first meeting. I knew in that first meeting that if I showed up every week she would be there standing by my side. It was a relationship I had never had before...a healthy one.

She told me her job was to create a healthy, safe environment so that I would know what one looked like. With what I learned from her I could then take out into the world and have a model to work from.

During my three years of therapy:

  • I ended two toxic relationships
  • I held my father accountable and taught him how to love me
  • I learned how to make myself vulnerable to my father (love him)
  • I learned how much pain I could embrace instead of choosing not feel
  • I learned how to embrace authentic love and how to give authentic love
  • I acknowledged all of the pain that I have been holding onto since childhood, pain that I didn't even knew existed
  • I learned that so much of what I've been taught was a lie
  • And my biggest lesson was learning how to love myself, how to forgive myself, and how amazing I already was

I take full responsibility for dedicating myself to my growth, but Patricia is who lead me to the fountain. It is people like her who show up in our lives unexpectedly and from then on everything is different. And it is because of all of these reasons and a million more that I recommend therapy. 

It is imperative that you expose yourself to people who lift you, to people who challenge the way you think, and to people who place mirrors in front of you. There is so much going on under the surface. We are not our bodies. We are souls in bodies. And therapists have the knowledge to see why you make the choices you make before you are ever aware of them. A great therapist doesn't tell you why you do what you do, she asks you questions and leads you down a path so that you can figure it out yourself. I can't think of a better gift.

Everyone needs therapy at some point in their lives. Even if you were raised in a perfect upbringing you will still have issues. And until you learn the tools to work through them and learn how to love yourself, these issues will always be running you. Therapy also helps you to actually work through trauma. Many books cannot do that. You might know all of your issues but to know them vs. actually working through them is something entirely different. I don't think there is a better way to work through something than with the love and intelligence of another being, guiding you to a place that you cannot even see yet because when you are in it, you can't see out of it.

We also need to get rid of the negative stigma of therapy. People think they are strong by handling things themselves when it is exactly the opposite. How do you process something that you don't know how to process. How do you work through pain when you have never done that before. As children we shut off the pain by various methods. So then when do we learn how to deal with pain? In school? No. From our parents? I didn't. From friends and lovers? Nope. I just kept attracting the same scenarios over and over. And had I not been introduced to therapy I have no doubt that I would have been in the same environment. Because at that time I did not even know that I had a problem. I thought that was how life was. I thought I just kept meeting the wrong men. I thought I wasn't worthy and when you don't know there is a problem, how can you solve it? Therapy helps us discover parts of us we didn't know existed. I believe everyone could benefit from therapy. I would even go as far to say that most enlightened people who have done a lot of inner work, they have most all been through therapy at some point in their lives.

If finances are an issue they also have therapy on a sliding scale depending on your income. I paid as little at $35 a week. It is a small sacrifice that will reap benefits for a lifetime. 

So what are you waiting for? If you are reading this then that means you are seeking growth. I know it is uncomfortable. I know your mind is saying you don't need it. But that is your mind and your mind wants to keep you "safe." If you have come to this place then take that step to see if you are really ready. If you are not then it's o.k. You can always start again in a different place, a different time. Oh but what if it is time? What if this is the first step that will change your life? What if this is just the beginning?


Sending you all, all the love, light, and healing energy in the universe!!