Relationships are composed of continuous moments of give and take. While one gives, the other takes and vice versa. It is part of the ebb and flow of life...up down, up down. And if it is a lasting relationship you will find that you will also fluctuate from being more close and from being more distant at times. This is what healthy relationships look like. The question is do you value your relationship enough to continue to put the energy in it for it to last?
When I say "relationships," I am referring to the relationship with yourself, your friends, your family, your lover, i.e. every relationship in your life. *So as you read this, take the time to apply everything that I am saying to all your relationships, especially yourself.* Yes, I just created my own punctuation lol. That is how important this is!
You should expect your relationships to be push, pull. You should expect it to be up and down. You should expect to feel love and to feel pain. You even should expect to be lifted and to be dragged down. The key is to keep a balance. Whenever that balance remains tipped to one side for too long then it is time to question that relationship.
I can honestly say that everyone whom I keep close, which are a select few, are relationships that are full of extreme love and extreme pain. When you have a deep connection with someone you allow yourself to be fully open, fully vulnerable. And guess what? When you are vulnerable you will get hurt. You will be fully vulnerable with only a few people and those people are going to be the fortunate ones to see that side of you. They are the ones who have earned your vulnerability. Because everyone has their own shit that they are dealing with they are not always thinking of you and that's when the pain comes. Sometimes people aren't able to love themselves as much as they would like to. Some days they love themselves more than others. On those days that they can't love themselves, they won't be able to love you as much as they could have, had they been able to love themselves more. When I love myself fully I can give so much of myself to others. I can put them first in those moments. But when I'm weak I will conserve my energy to take care of myself. Can someone say survival of the fittest?
Now that does not mean that I love you any less. It just means that I need to do what is best for me in that moment. Many will take those moments personally and that is not the case. They will think that it is a reflection of how I feel about them, or how I feel about the relationship. Always remember, people love you as much as they can love themselves. That is a constant. A healthy person will be aware that they are not loving themselves and they will take the time to love themselves and then they can love you.
So when you decide that you want love in your life, I mean really decide that you want authentic, honest, can lift you in a second, kind of love, please know that it will be painful. Just like anything that you want in life. Your passions, your goals, they all require love and pain; the love that you have for them and the pain that you will go through on your journey to climb those mountains. So then, why would love be any different?
Love is the biggest mountain you will ever climb and thus will be the most amazing journey you will ever take...but only if you decide to.
Don't run at the first sign of pain. Now if there are signs of pain all over the place, then get your ass out of there, and fast. That scenario reeks of an unhealthy attachment, reliving your childhood pain, and constantly triggering you, type of relationship. But if you're wanting to run only because you are so fearful of feeling any type of real pain then take a step back and see why you are really running. After all there is a reason why you have made yourself so vulnerable to this person in the first place. I can only hope it was because you felt this was a healthy relationship for you. So ask yourself why are you running? Is it because this other person that you liked so much is really that horrible of a person that she hurt you and shouldn't be in your life or is it because she opened up a world of unexpected pain for you that you can't bare to feel?
Life lesson. Run towards that which you fear.
Sending you all, all the love, light, and healing energy in the universe!!