When people come to me for advice on how to get rid of the pain they usually focus on the other person or external events. I can always tell when someone is in the "the red." That's what I define as complete and utter chaos. I would proceed to ask what is causing their pain and the seeker would talk for about 10 minutes straight about how the other person did this and that. "How could this other person do this to me," he would ask. In this moment the person opposite me, is not present. He is in his own world. He's not aware if I'm even paying attention or if I even understand him. Every sentence is about something external.
It's extremely important that we always bring the focus back to us. It is never about the other person. Let me repeat that. It is NEVER about the other person. It is ALWAYS about ourselves. I don't care if she cheated, stole, or broke your heart. Your growth concerns you. Why were you attracted to this situation or this person when there were red flags. And yes there are always red flags. Whether or not we were present with open eyes to see them is another story or we chose to make them yellow and proceeded with caution. What is it about us that attracted this energy to us? What is it in us that needs to shift? Why do we run from love and from healthier relationships? And why does it seem like we keep going through the same experiences over and over?
Whatever you have in your life you have attracted. Everything is energy and whatever energy you are, you are attracting. You will keep experiencing the same in your life because that is what you are still. Until you shift and grow you will continue to endure the same events, the same people. We stay in this energy because we don't know any better, or we don't think we deserve better, most likely a combination of both. And even beneath that, it is due to a lack of self love. People think life is miserable because of whatever trauma they are experiencing but what is more miserable than that is not growing and living on repeat.
When I look back on my entire 20's, every relationship was the same. I thought I was meeting the wrong men. No. I was attracting the same environment that I was familiar with since childhood and that was all I knew.
What you grow up with, what you are surrounded with as a child that serves as a foundation for what you think is safe. Even if it is turmoil, it is all that you know. So as adults our subconscious does what it thinks is best and that is to keep us in familiar scenarios. After all we already know how everything will turn out...shitty. But at least it's a shit that we know. People will live their whole lives enduring this. They will say that they've led painful lives.
Let me tell you what real pain is. Real pain is not the circumstance. Real pain is not allowing yourself to feel the pain, to let it go, and to grow. That is real pain. Real pain is living day to day with the same bullshit. The same drama, the same unfilled dreams, the same hopelessness and never growing. Having lived a life having never loved yourself enough to know that you are the world, you deserve the world. In a matter of fact the world literally exists within you. That is real pain. Having to wake up and look in the mirror and live with the life that you've chosen to live only to blame it on everyone else having never realized who you really are. Now trust me when I say that most aren't in a space to really acknowledge that they are living a life like this. Though this is what is considered normal.
The more difficult road is to embrace your pain, to let go, and to move forward. Why do you think so few do it? Why do you think "the norm," is living a mediocre life? And in this very act of embracing all of you, not just parts of you that are "good," you are loving yourself. You are teaching yourself that emotions are temporary and they will not kill you. Yes, they might hurt like hell but they are not stronger than you and they do not define you. Embrace all of you. Love all of you. Understand all of you. Know all of you. That is loving yourself. And through that you will start to shift. You will start to see the magnificent power that you do have. You will start to see that what you have been taught, the so called, "reality," of this world actually isn't our reality at all.
Once you allow yourself to embrace pain you will see that there is an abundance of love on the other side. It's because your soul wants you to love and accept all of you. Once you start loving parts of you that you have walked away from all of your life, it's almost as if your soul says thank you by giving you all of this love. It seems like it came from nowhere, like it didn't exist before. But guess what? All this love already exists inside of you. It is you.
You want to know how much you love yourself? Look at what and who surrounds you because that is what you allow and what you have attracted into your life. Look at how you treat your body? Are you in love with your job? Do you embrace the beauty in life? Does it even seem like beauty exists in your life? How lonely do you feel? Are you anxious? I could go on and on but you can see the picture I'm painting.
And I cannot stress enough...If you do not really believe that you deserve the world you will attract that. You can say you love yourself a million times and yes I recommend that because you are still rewiring your brain. But until your subconscious actually shifts, change will not occur. For me, I have not been able to control that. But I am working on that because nothing can tell me that I can't achieve what I am determined to. I've kept on a forward moving path and eventually my internal did shift.
So what do you do? Keep moving forward, keep growing, keep searching, and keep your moments of stillness. I promise you, a shift will occur and when it does you will see, your external will follow. Self love is the answer and will always be the answer to everything and anything. With every action you are either loving yourself or you are not. And when you love yourself there is an overwhelming urge to share that love with others. You realize how beautiful life can be and you want others to feel that to. I'd also like to mention when you start realizing how powerful you are and what you are capable of. You want to share that with others as well. You want to lift them up to.
Why do you think I have this blog? It's one of the many things I do weekly to show myself love. And to lift all of you.
This will sum up all my words. When you see the love in yourself you will see it in all things. And notice I said ALL things. Just like our goal is to love ALL of ourselves.That is fucking #TRUTH.
Love yourself today. You deserve the world. You are the world. Sending you all, all the love and light in the universe!!!