The number 1 rebuttal I hear from women interested in a boudoir shoot is that they need to lose weight first. And while I understand where they are coming from, I’m not at my ideal weight, let me tell you what I learned during my boudoir shoot.
A BOUDOIR EXPERIENCE WILL CHANGE THE WAY YOU SEE YOUR BODY My body does not look the way I would prefer it to look. I’ve realized that hating it is not the way to move through this. Learning to love all of myself while always striving to push myself forward is the healthiest way through this. Shedding your clothes in front of a camera, refusing to hide anymore, is you making a declaration to embrace and love ALL of you. This is how you begin to change the way you see yourself. It begins within.
IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR BODY LOOKS LIKE I’ve been thin and I’ve been heavy and you know what? I felt unworthy in my own body both times. When I was thin I still saw myself as heavy and when I was heavy I saw myself as heavier. I love myself more than ever now and I am still not at my ideal weight but I’m happier. You know why? Because I’m taking steps every day to love ALL of me.
SOCIETAL STANDARDS OF BEAUTY IS A BUNCH OF BULL SHIT Throughout time the idea of beauty continues to change. If you see portraits of what was thought beautiful in the past and compare it to what is considered beautiful now you will see that the ideals vary. What does this mean? It means it is all bull shit. Don’t get lost in external and fleeting ideas of how you should look to please others. The only opinion that will ever matter is yours. Fuck everybody else’s.
When I finally received my boudoir images I must admit there were a few that I did not like. For the most part, I felt I looked heavier than I saw myself. I told my amazing photographer Teri Hofford and she told me something I will never forget. She said that I needed to spend time with the images that I did not like and learn to love them. I can honestly say I’m still working on falling in love with them but I definitely love them more than I did originally. Most of all I’ve learned how important it is to learn to love my body in a healthy way. In a matter of fact, if I think about the one thing that I’ve struggled with my whole life, it’s my body. And I know that once I fully move through this, I will be so much more powerful than I am now. Think about how far you and I can go, if we stopped hating something as big as our bodies? If we woke up and loved the skin we were in, trust me, we would move differently.